One of the most common comments I get on my blog and Facebook posts is that I say things about motherhood that other moms are thinking. I like that. A lot. I have no problem talking openly about where I excel at motherhood and where I gloriously and epically fail at it. With that said, I have developed this super-scientific 8 question quiz to help you determine “how lazy of a mom you are”. Keep track of your answers and I will give you a completely unqualified analysis at the end. Enjoy!
1. Someone is just about to come over to your house and at the last minute you walk by the couch, look down and notice 4 Cheerios that have been stepped on and crushed on the floor. You:
A. Grab a broom & dustpan and quickly sweep up the mess.
B. Point it out to the dog and let him lick it up.
C. Quickly kick the debris under the couch and tell yourself you will go back and sweep it up later.
2. How often do you shave your legs?
A. Every day. If there is a chance your partner might touch them you always want your legs to be ready.
B. 2-3 times per week. It doesn’t grow that much in a couple of days anyway.
C. Your razor misses you. It’s winter for god’s sake and you wear pants everyday anyway so who really cares.
3. There is a strange white goo on your baby’s cheek. You:
A. Go grab a baby wipe and gently clean it off.
B. Grab the paper towel that is sitting on the coffee table from last night and wipe it off.
C. Use your hand to wipe it off, smell it and then wipe it on your pants.
4. You are driving to the corner store to pick something up. It’s cold and the kids are bundled up. You do not have to drive on any main roads to reach the store. You:
A. Strap all of the kids into their 5-point harness safety seats even though you practically cut your hands trying to get the buckles done because their clothes are so puffy.
B. Put all of the kids in their seats but only strap the shoulder straps. You’re only going about 500 yards so that is plenty of protection.
C. You make sure the baby is properly restrained but the other kids get to sit wherever they want. You’ll probably be going a max of 15 mph and they are big enough to survive any catastrophes that might happen at that speed.
5. You are completely exhausted because you only got a few hours of sleep the night before. Your toddler wants you to read him a bedtime story and picks a book that is very long. You:
A. Read him the entire book. This is precious time with your little one and you can always sleep some other time.
B. Spend 5 minutes talking him into a board book with big pictures and little to no words because it is a “much better story”.
C. Read the book that he chose but completely make up pretend transitions so you are essentially skipping every other page. He can’t read so as long as what you say matches the pictures, this plan gets you to bed in less than 5 minutes.
6. Which chicken dinner would your family most likely eat tonight?
A. Roasted Asparagus and Swiss stuffed Chicken Breast seasoned with fresh herbs picked from your garden and rice pilaf.
B. Shredded southwestern salsa chicken that you tossed in the crockpot this morning served in flour tortillas.
C. Microwaved chicken nuggets with a piece of fruit and a yogurt.
7. Your ideal vacation is:
A. A four day all-inclusive trip to Disneyland with the kiddos complete with breakfasts with Mickey and princess makeovers.
B. A four day camping trip in the Pines where you sing songs and have s’mores by the campfire and teach the kids how to fish by the lake.
C. A four day tropical vacation to Hawaii alone with your spouse while the kids stay at home with your in-laws.
8. The contents of your car are most closely represented by which list below:
A. Phone charger, a few loose coins, Kleenex.
B. Phone charger, a few loose coins, Kleenex, a child’s jacket, a stroller, an empty bag from taking in your dry cleaning and 2 toys.
C. Phone charger, a few loose coins, Kleenex, a child’s jacket, a stroller, an empty bag from taking in your dry cleaning, 6 toys, 3 candy wrappers, an empty starbucks cup, 2 empty water bottles, an umbrella, a pacifier, a hat and something brown and sticky on the floor that you think was once a french fry.
NOW……Simply count up the total of A’s you answered, then B’s, then C’s. Which did you answer to most of the questions? Then read the results below to find out more about “how lazy of a mother you are”.
If you answered mostly A: You are a supermom and are so rare that you rank up up there with unicorns and the Yetti. It is true that you and your entire family look gorgeous every time you step out in public but be cautious of how much the unneeded pressure to be perfect is putting on everyone including yourself. Give yourself a break. Lighten up. Don’t shower all day for just one day and stay in your pjs. It will not harm you, I promise. As much as our kids crave structure they also need to grow up knowing how to relax. So tomorrow morning pop some ego mini pancakes into the microwave instead of making homemade blueberry pancakes shaped like hearts for your kiddos. You can use the “saved” 1/2 hour later to take a bubble bath, read a chapter of a book or paint your toenails. You deserve it Momma! You know you do.
If you answered mostly B: Congratulations! You are completely vanilla. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with vanilla though. Vanilla is delicious. The best part of being vanilla is that you are level-headed enough to be excellent at picking your battles. You step up when you need to and are incredibly reliable. Everyone loves you. Just be careful to not get stuck in a rut by daring yourself to step outside of your comfort zone from time to time and either bake an apple pie from scratch or have a water balloon fight with the neighborhood kids.
If you answered mostly C: Wowza! You are a hot mess. And while I don’t have any data to support this I would bet money that a good 85% of us moms fall in this category at least 85% of the time. The good news is that the kids probably don’t even notice you are so frazzled because despite the hidden Cheerios and hairy legs they only see you as a great and loving mom. So it’s ok to feel good about what you are doing. And definitely don’t stress about not being supermom because instead you are a SUPER mom!
SOOOOOOO, which one are you? Please let me know in the comments section.
Photo credits: dreamstime.com, blogs.imediaconnection.com, littlewritermomma.com