Why I Yell: An Open Letter to My Children

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Why I Yell: An Open Letter to My Children

My dearest daughters,

Today I heard the way you were shouting at your baby sister for touching your Barbie and it sent chills down my spine. Not because such anger seemed to be coming out of such an adorable little creature. Nope. I felt shame because you were just mirroring what I do when I am upset with you.

I’ve seen you get angry before but today your words matched mine. Not pretty words. Not loving words. And for this I am truly sorry. While I secretly hope that you are all too young to remember my recent frustration and lack of control, I nevertheless feel awful that this perhaps gives you permission to also be frustrated and out of control.

I’m realistic enough to admit that this will likely not be the last time that I lose my mind. I just hope that the 95.3% of the time that I am a patient and calming force will be what you remember me for.

In the meantime, if you would like to help me out, my sweet girls, you are welcome to do so by doing the following:

  1. Stop standing on chairs. Cause and effect seems to be lost on you people. If it hurts when you hurl your lifeless body 4 feet onto the ground and land on your head, then hey…here’s a concept, maybe don’t do it again.
  2. Flush the damn toilet.
  3. Be kind to each other. You may not realize it now but that little pest sitting next to you will probably be holding your hair on your 21st birthday (I mean, let’s be honest…you have my DNA). And she will hold you while you cry the first time your heart is broken. And she will be the first person you want to call when you get a promotion. (Wait! You better call me. Then your sister will be the second person you call). Now that we got that straight, please just be kind to each other.
  4. Do what I say. And do it right when I say it. I realize if my own mother is reading this she is probably rolling her eyes but come on! I thought I had ordered those kids that were not going to make me repeat everything I said 437,240 times. It is extremely exhausting. And I’m starting to hate my own voice.
  5. Treat your Dad and I with respect. We made you. We own you. We can end you. Please just show us the respect that we deserve. I would think that the fact that we have actually shown you proof that the world opens up to every wish and possibility your little heart can dream of when you show us respect would result in said respect. You are super smart. You could totally play us if you wanted to but for some reason you don’t choose this route. I’m giving you a golden nugget of wisdom here.
  6. If you have to open 3 doors to get to me, I’m probably trying to get away from you. Perhaps just give me 15 seconds of peace.
  7. Don’t cry over food. Ever. You are putting too much importance on fruit snacks and goldfish. Save your emotions for things that matter.
  8. Please don’t use my toothbrush. I mean, I love the 4 sinus infections I get every year and all, but can I just have one thing that you don’t stick in your mouth?
  9. Appreciate your family. You are so lucky to have so many people who love you. Cherish it. Eat it up. Hug each other instead of bickering. Be thankful instead of jealous.

And with all of that said I want to tell each of you, I love you with all that I am. You kids are the light of my life. I promise that even if you don’t do each of the items above for me I will do my best to not lose my cool. Well, at least not as much.

Your loving Mom. Always and Forever.

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10 responses »

  1. This is the BEST account for the feelings of parents I have ever read! The honesty is not only hilarious, but so on point I can’t even stand it. I am totally going to share this with my mom and read it to my 6 and 10 year old before bed tomorrow night! Thanks for the doubled over laughter. I can now be excused from the sit ups I was probably not going to do tonight. Thanks for sharing!!!

    • You have no idea how much this comment made my day. I love hearing that other moms relate to my chaos. If I made you chuckle then I am one happy momma. Thx for taking the time to read, comment and share!

  2. Have you been a fly on my wall? I have these same thoughts. This was beautifully written and I could not have said it better. Love love love this. Now I need to make sure I focus on keeping my voice calm and my temper in check. We both have great kids. Though we have to remember they are KIDS. Love you and your sweet family.

    • Thank you Gina. Wouldn’t you know it that after all my angst from being sick and just wishing I could go to bed yesterday, today they blew my mind…offering to massage my legs and feet to make me feel better. I wouldn’t have my life any other way. XXOO

  3. I loved this! A huge portion of it I could soooo relate to! I was a patient, quiet, never yelling person…..before my firstborn child got old enough to be the strong willed, spunky, livewire who she is. That young lady I once was, who never yelled or dreamed of yelling in a non-emergency situation would be shocked at my weakness for shouting when I see a five year old standing on top of the mattress of a bed that has been dragged off amidst a tornado-like disaster of everything she owns scattered all over the floor while trying to tackle her two year old messmaking sidekick and both are howling so loudly I can’t even hear myself think and can barely hear myself shouting over their racket. Yeah….ummm….sorry, former self and current beloved kiddos! 😦 I still hate yelling, but it happens! Thanks for admitting you lose it sometimes….in such a hilarious way. LOL

    • Thank you so much. Sounds like our kids would get along perfectly! I keep telling myself the things that make my kids the hardest to parent are the things I like the most about them (strong willed, brave, outspoken). And our lives are never boring, right? I appreciate you reading and your response.

  4. Yes! OMG Yes!! I always tell them, I don’t want to be a bad mom who screams and is a nut case! I want to be the good mommy that is wearing an apron and gluing popsicle sticks together. I just wrote something called The People I Live With. I have had a tough day to say the least. Thank you for making me smile today!!! Love this!!!! I want to hang it on my wall too!!! Great Post!!!

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