Tag Archives: baby



So this is the new sound at my house. It is at about 150 decibels, it is ear shattering and frays the nerves of everyone in our house. And it’s coming out of a tiny 16-pound baby.

I have raised 2 other little girls and I have never heard such a thing. Baby girl is 5 month old. She is a sweet-tempered, very easy baby. In fact she has been my dream baby. Then all of a sudden the screeeeeeeching started about 4 days ago. First we thought it was that she was really hungry (although she’s chubby enough she could probably live off of her own body fat for a week). Then we thought it was gas but when it continued after a few awesome poops we figured out that it wasn’t that.

And here’s the kicker, she doesn’t seem to be in that much distress. She can cry through the screech and then smile through the screech.

So, I spent an hour on google last night looking at the baby forums and who knew?!?!? This is a very common sound for babies to make at exactly 5 months as they are finding their voice and trying new sounds. Neither of my other girls did this so it is natural that I would think she was in distress. But I wanted to warn all of you new moms that if this happens to you don’t kill yourself trying to make your baby feel better. They are apparently fine and are actually having fun with the sound.

The Internet said to just enjoy the screech because it’ll be over before you know it. To which I say to the author of that site, “please email me your address, I will come into your bedroom and stick 20 mating cats in your bed while you are trying to sleep and see if you just enjoy the sound they make.”

I do feel better knowing this is a short phase. I am going to be spending my time talking to baby girl in goo’s and ga’s and mama’s and dada’s so she can see there are other fun sounds that are less likely to drive me to the nuthouse.

Did anyone else go through this with your kids and if so, how long did it last for you and do you have any advice? I am open to any and all suggestions.


Photo: rollercoaster.ie


Dear Dude on the Airplane, You Are More Annoying Than My Baby


Dearest Dude,

I realize that as you walked on this airplane you noticed that the only seat left was behind a Mommy holding an infant.

I also realize that the first thought through your head was “oh crap, this baby is going to cry for 3-1/2 hours and annoy the hell out of me.” I could see it in your face as you looked at me, looked at the remaining seat, looked back around the plane, then looked back at me.

Well, dude, guess what? The joke’s on you. My baby was awesome. She slept for 2-1/2 hours. How about you?

Nope, you talked for over 2 hours LOUDLY to the point where a man 3 rows away had to tell you to quiet down.

Did you actually think those poor souls next to you cared that:
– you were working 16 hour days and decided to quit to pursue writing
– you sing Karaoke and Al Green is your go to artist
– you live in a make shift commune in a converted hotel
– your best friends are comedians so everyone thinks you are a comedian too
– you have friends in London so you go there all of the time

Trust me, nobody cares. They didn’t care. I didn’t care. My awesome sleeping baby didn’t care.

You are a person who gets off on the sound of their own voice but doesn’t get the hint when the person next to you puts their ear buds in that they would prefer you stop talking.

Oh, and by the way you are not just “one of those people who have a bass voice”. You are in fact one of those people who “just don’t shut up” and coming from someone who has lettered in talking a lot that must mean your talking is at an epic level.

So dude, learn to relax, read a book, watch a movie on your iPhone, or read freakin’ skymall 20 times. I don’t care.

But dear God please take a lesson from this adorable chubby baby on my lap and shut the hell up.

Thank you,
Mommy whose kid showed you up in 25D


Photo: http://www.navyaircrew.com