Tag Archives: goldfish

The Cronut Is So Yesterday: 3 Food Combos I Just Invented. Lattodka Anyone?

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Have you all heard of the Cronut yet? Named by Time Magazine as one of the “Top 25 Inventions” of 2013, this croissant-doughnut hybrid was invented by a pastry chef in NYC. Apparently these little suckers are so sought after that they are being sold on the black market for $100 a piece! Isn’t that insane? It’s hard to believe that there are still food combinations that have yet to be dreamt up that could create such a demand but this guy did it and he is making a killing.

This made me start thinking of what culinary combinations my kids and I would invent if we were to combine our two favorite things to eat. I like to cloud my mind with trivial stuff like this instead of worrying about more bothersome things like how we’ll put four daughters through college and pay for four weddings.

So my friends, here are my three new food inventions:

Food Combo for a Toddler

THE PLAYDARGER
(Playdoh + iPhone charger)

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I know what it takes to make my toddler happy. I know that she would rather eat a tiny piece of Christmas tree tinsel that I somehow forgot to sweep up than a well-balanced, home-cooked meal. This knowledge lets me know with complete certainty that the dream culinary combination that I have invented for her would make her head explode with excitement. It is the creamy white deliciousness of a new iPhone charger coated with a bright crunchy shell of dried playdoh. Her two favorite things to stick in her mouth all at once. Yummy.

Food Combo for Mommy

THE ICED LATTODKA
(Latte + Vodka)

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The other day I shared a dirty little secret with only two people on the planet (you know who you are and now you know how much I love you.) But I’m sharing it with all of you here because I seem to have no shame, nor a proper blog filter. The other night after a particularly stressful day I drank a cocktail of vodka mixed with orange Pedialyte because I had nothing else in the house to mix it with. ((GASP!!)) So there you go. If only I had my dream combo here, a scrumptious iced vanilla latte magically mixed with top shelf vodka, I could have avoided my questionable mix. Now I know some of you might be saying “hey mama there is espresso flavored vodka already” but that is not what I want. My combination would taste exactly like an iced skinny vanilla latte but it would have the added underlying benefit of making me completely forget the trauma of just having to help my toddler get a poop out, that my 3-year-old was crying because she doesn’t have the exact cat game that she wants on her iPad and a preteen who at that very moment needed two homework assignments printed out on a printer that is apparently not working. Ahhhhh….the Lattodka.

Food Combo for Kids

THE FISHGAR
(Goldfish + Sugar)

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My sweet, beautiful little girl, if provided the opportunity and very detailed instructions, would mainline sugar. She wakes up thinking about sugar, spends her days planning and plotting for sugar, and her nights dreaming of sugar. So if I could guarantee that she wasn’t destined for diabetes I would provide her with the magical creation of sweet sugar-coated gold fish. We already own stock in Pepperidge Farms and we might as well add C&H to our investment portfolio.

I would love to hear what your combinations would be for the members of your family. Please share away.

Photo credits: fstoppers.com, etsy.com, blovelyevents.com

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5 Foods a Modern Mom Can’t Live Without

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I want to preface this by saying that these recommendations on their own are in no way endorsed by the FDA. I also can admit that these items and my inability to have self-control over stuffing them in my pie hole most definitely are the leading reasons why I can’t lose the 15 pounds I desperately want to lose before our Puerto Rico trip in June. But as a SAHM these are staples that I think we can all agree are necessary evils.

1. COFFEE
All moms know that this is a major food group. I have one iced coffee every morning and I’m pretty sure that it has life-saving properties. One of my favorite blog names that I’ve ever come across (and you should definitely check out) is Eating coffee straight from the bag. Because mainlining coffee is preposterous. Ain’t that the truth. I have a serious love affair going on with iced coffee. Iced coffee is my Boo.

2. WHITE TRASH GRILLED CHEESE
How can you make grilled cheese any more WT then it already is, you ask? Easy. This is for days when you don’t even want to turn on the stove or dirty a plate. Toast 2 pieces of bread in a toaster. Put your cheese inside bread and microwave for 15 seconds. It’s done in all of 2 minutes and trust me, a toddler can’t tell that there’s no butter on there.

3. YOGURT
There is rarely a time when we don’t have a ton of yogurt in the fridge. Most importantly, it’s healthy. But also I can get flavors like orangesickle, boston cream pie, strawberry shortcake & key lime which seem to get my kids excited. They LOVE yogurt and my friend Joanna gave me the coolest trick to keep it clean and avoid the inevitable yogurt-in-the-hair scenario. Just poke a hole in the top of the yogurt, cut a straw in 1/2 and stick it in. Your kid can just walk around sippin’ on yogurt. No mess!

4. GOLDFISH
This of course is another food group. How could we live without goldfish? I used to naively buy the small paper bag of these every time I went to the store. But as soon as I realized that we were inevitably going to own stock in Pepperidge Farms I started buying the big daddy cartons. While I admit we have found those uneaten little buggers hiding in some of the weirdest places (like Ferbie’s mouth), they also have saved us from some potentially embarrassing social situations. They are like tiny pieces of duct tape over your little one’s mouth.

5. PASTA ROSES
Spaghetti – Borrrrrrring! But buy a pasta that looks like a rose and let your child make them into red roses with pasta sauce and this is a home run, especially if you have little girls. Pasta Roses is actually just campanelle pasta and is a hit at my house. Easy, yummy & fun.

I would love for you to add to this list. What are the foods on your “can’t live without them” list?