Usually my daily mishaps are fairly harmless. Like finding my toddler eating chocolate cake off of the kitchen floor and deciding to just let her go for it. Or spending hours running errands and then getting home and realizing I have a big blob of white puke on my shoulder. You know, those kind of things.
Every once in a while though I do a doozy of a mishap and this week was one of those times. As a stay-at-home mom and a self-professed iPhone addict there is not a moment that I don’t document through pictures and videos. So much so that my memory is full on my phone and my older kids actually demand a picture when doing something awesome.
This happened last week when my 3-year-old put on some orange hipster glasses and was posing on our deck while I snapped away. There were so many good shots that I did a cute pic collage and like every other annoying mother out there I blasted it everywhere: Facebook, Instagram, even an email to my grandmother.
Then a while later I got this text from an eagle eye friend of mine:
When I read this I made a sound that I’ve never made before. It was kind of a combination of hysterical laughter and a gasp of horror. Can you imagine that sound?
And here is the guilty pic collage
The word SEX is right above my sweet baby’s head! Nice work, mom. Of course I immediately thought how dare that app make such an adorable border and expect me to only use it for pic collages of people I want to, well…you know. And it’s so hidden! Or, am I blind to the word? All I saw was love, kiss, flowers & hearts.
Well, as with all aspects of parenthood I consider this a lesson learned. I need to be more careful when I post stuff about my kids. And by making this public I hope that you will do the same.
Sometimes being a mom of multiple children proves to be a challenge for my tiny little brain. I’m not sure whether it is permanent damage from so many years of pregnancy brain, the early onset of sometimers, or maybe I’ve always been this absent-minded. Either way, I swear I’m getting stupider (see what I did there?).
Today’s brilliant mommy mishap occurred while attending a Mom’s group function. We just moved to a new state where we have no friends or family so the local mommy groups have been a great way for me to meet new people. Today’s particular group is full of bright, positive women and we all got to show off our children at the end. I’m so proud of my kids. They are reasonably well behaved, super cute and charming and only one of them was covered in cupcake frosting today. So proud as a peacock I left the function thinking what a nice time I had spending the whole morning with my new mom friends and how well my children behaved.
I packed up the giant suburban as I usually do. Baby first (making sure her pacifier was in her mouth), my crap second (purse, baby bag, toddler’s artwork covered in glitter with only 1/2 dried glue, a Christmas ornament I made, and a bottled water), and then finally the toddler (making sure her seat belt was secure and Ice Age was playing in the DVD player for our drive). Phewwww! Done. I hopped in the car and headed home.
And that’s when I got the text:
“I have your stroller. :)”
Dear Lord!!! I drove right off with the stroller sitting in the parking lot. Clearly I didn’t look behind me as I was driving off. Luckily the fantastic woman who got it for me was one of the 2 people that we have had a play date with so at least I know her a little. But after 30 seconds of being embarrassed I started laughing hysterically. I LEFT A STROLLER ABANDONED IN THE PARKING LOT OF A MOM’S GROUP!!! That is hilarious! My text back was this.
“At least one of my kids wasn’t still in it.”
I learned 2 valuable lessons from this experience:
1) Laugh at yourself and your imperfections. The laugh I had today was so refreshing and it got my toddler laughing too. We laughed all the way on the drive to pick up the poor abandoned stroller.
2) When pretending to be the perfect mom, don’t drive off with anything left outside of your car, kids or otherwise.
Happy Friday folks. I hope that my mishap is the worst that happened to all of us today.
I am not exactly a “traditional” problem solver when it comes to the home front. When I have a Mommy Mishap and I need a solution it doesn’t just come to me naturally. I, out of pure necessity, rely very heavily on Google to solve my mishaps.
Today was an example of the powerful Internet. Our family is moving across the country in just a few short weeks and every day I’m doing something to get prepared for that move. Today I decided to tackle the nursery. A while back when my husband got really into wood working I asked him to make some wooden circles to hang on the nursery wall to match the pattern on the sheets. It looked adorable.
I used what I thought was a fabulous little material called double sided foam tape to put them on the wall. Perfect! These little circles could survive the Apocalypse and more importantly they wouldn’t come down if the toddler decided to hang on them.
However, when I tried to pull them down today the residue left on the walls was god awful. It is stronger than cement, I swear.
After realizing the traditional methods of removing goo weren’t going to work I headed to my dear friend Google. And you know what Google said to use? Peanut Butter!!! Maybe some of you smarter people out there already knew this but I sure didn’t. And I hope maybe one of you reading this will save this little trick in your arsenal. Peanut Butter works like magic! No joke.
So there you go. My little Mommy Mishap handy trick for ya. Now I’m going to go eat some peanut butter because smelling it for a half hour made me want to lick the nursery walls.
I started this blog originally as an outlet to share the crazy stuff I find myself doing as I manage being a busy mom. This will be my first recap of my top favorite mishaps that occurred recently. Welcome to the first MONTHLY MOMMY MISHAP RECAP. Welcome to my world.
GRAND THEFT AUTO
I came out to my car after picking up something at Walgreens and realized I had left it running while I was in there with the kids. I’m so lucky it didn’t get stolen. Especially since it was my husband’s car.
Literally. I crashed my husbands car. Technically it was a tiny fender bender and I only broke a fog lamp but again, it was my husband’s car and a major mishap.
While bowling with a friend of mine and all 6 of our kids I finally got a spare because I used a 12 lb ball instead of the kids’ 7 lb ball. Forgetting my audience I shouted, “I should’ve known I just needed bigger balls.” I thought it was hilarious until I realized I was surrounded by children. Oops.
My toddler likes to help me cook and sits on the counter while I prepare food. I am a pretty terrible cook so I always am pretty chaotic in the kitchen. I had used a pair of very dull plastic children’s scissors to open a bag because I couldn’t find our regular scissors. As I walked away from the kitchen for a second to tend to the newborn I saw out of the corner of my eye that the toddler was inching dangerously close to the stove and I yelled, “No! don’t touch! It’s hot over there! Just play with your scissors.” Play with scissors? Really? That was my solution to not having to rush to a burn unit?
THAT DOESN’T GO THERE
I’m convinced that baby brain doesn’t go away after the baby comes out. Proof of that is that I constantly find things in places they don’t go and I know I’m to blame. This month my favorites were finding the bag of almonds in the fridge and my favorite black bra in the newborn’s sock drawer.
Did any of you have any Mommy Mishaps recently?