Tag Archives: parenthood

MOMMY MISHAP ALERT! I blasted a picture of my kid on social media with an inappropriate word on it

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Usually my daily mishaps are fairly harmless. Like finding my toddler eating chocolate cake off of the kitchen floor and deciding to just let her go for it. Or spending hours running errands and then getting home and realizing I have a big blob of white puke on my shoulder. You know, those kind of things.

Every once in a while though I do a doozy of a mishap and this week was one of those times. As a stay-at-home mom and a self-professed iPhone addict there is not a moment that I don’t document through pictures and videos. So much so that my memory is full on my phone and my older kids actually demand a picture when doing something awesome.

This happened last week when my 3-year-old put on some orange hipster glasses and was posing on our deck while I snapped away. There were so many good shots that I did a cute pic collage and like every other annoying mother out there I blasted it everywhere: Facebook, Instagram, even an email to my grandmother.

Then a while later I got this text from an eagle eye friend of mine:

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When I read this I made a sound that I’ve never made before. It was kind of a combination of hysterical laughter and a gasp of horror. Can you imagine that sound?

And here is the guilty pic collage

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The word SEX is right above my sweet baby’s head! Nice work, mom. Of course I immediately thought how dare that app make such an adorable border and expect me to only use it for pic collages of people I want to, well…you know. And it’s so hidden! Or, am I blind to the word? All I saw was love, kiss, flowers & hearts.

Well, as with all aspects of parenthood I consider this a lesson learned. I need to be more careful when I post stuff about my kids. And by making this public I hope that you will do the same.

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How I scored an 8 out of 8 on “Biggest Mistakes New Moms Make”

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When I was pregnant last Fall I subscribed to every baby app and online newsletter that existed. One was a newsletter called the Bump. Any of you get that one? Well, I got an email today which had a headline that caught my eye, Biggest Mistakes New Moms Make. Since I am now a seasoned mother of not one but THREE munchkins I was sure that there was no way I made any mistakes this third time around when I delivered my baby in December. Pulllleease!

Boy was I wrong. According to the fine experts at the Bump, I’m a complete an utter failure. This is only made more comical by the fact that you would think I’d have learned the first (or at least second) time around. Nope, not so much.

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NOT FOCUSING ON HEALING
What is healing? I was shopping at Target the day after I squeezed this last little human out of my hoo-ha. My adrenaline was at epic levels those first couple days and I could’ve lifted a city bus if I needed to.

BECOMING A HERMIT
If becoming a hermit means not showering for days at a time, thinking pajamas are appropriate attire to go out and get the mail in and talking out loud to yourself to the point where you laugh at your own jokes about yourself to yourself, well then color me hermit.

STEWING ABOUT NOT STICKING TO YOUR BIRTH PLAN
My birth plan this third time around was to be walking through the hallway of the labor and delivery unit and have the baby slide right out. So technically I blame my doctor and the baby for this not going according to my plan. I was totally on board.

NOT GETTING HELP WITH BREASTFEEDING ISSUES
I’ve been lucky enough to have a good bunch of eaters. I will admit that this time around it started to hurt and instead of doing something about it I decided to just tough it out hard-core style. Probably not the smartest decision I’ve ever made.

STRESSING ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING
All I need to say here is a public apology to my husband, “Sorry Dear.” I was pretty tightly wound. Every thing I stressed about he would remind me that it happened with our others and then I would remember and calm down. That baby brain and pregnancy amnesia is a very stiff cocktail.

NOT SAYING YES TO OFFERS TO HELP
I suck at this. ‘Nuff said.

TAKING ADVICE THAT GOES AGAINST YOUR GUT
I suck at this too. Sometimes at peak stress and sleep deprivation the 15 people chirping in your ear can break you down. I appreciate advice greatly but I would say 95% of the time Mommy & Daddy know best.

COMPARING YOUR BABY TO YOUR FRIEND’S
I do this. Not in a competitive my-baby-is-better-than-yours way, but I will admit that when some of my other Mommy friends do things it reminds me of how I have completely forgotten to do something. A couple of months ago my best friend (who also has a newborn) asked me when you are supposed to switch nipple size on your bottles. My answer was I couldn’t remember. My inner dialogue was “oh, crap…I forgot to go up in nipple size, sorry its been like trying to suck a tennis ball through a garden hose baby girl.”

What I concluded by reading this article was that I did everything exactly as it should’ve been done. Not perfectly by any means, but perfectly for me, my baby and my family. My babies are happy and healthy and quite spirited, so I’m pretty proud of the “Big Mistakes” this mommy has made.

A Daddy’s Love

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I’m normally not too crazy about posting too many personal pictures of my family publicly but after a day filled with so much about Mommy’s and our kids I was inspired to give a shout out to the most important person in my life, the father of my children, my amazing husband. There is no sweeter moment than seeing the man you love sharing love with your children. I have captured a few of these moments and I treasure them all.

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On the Great Day of Mother’s Day My True Loves Gave to Me

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To get an accurate picture of how my Mother’s Day went please sing this like the last verse of the TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS.

On the great day of Mother’s Day my true loves gave to me…..
Two loads of laundry
Watching Ice Age twice
A shower with a toddler
One giant blowout
Puke on my shoulder
Crying over cereal
Doing my own dishes
One dooooooookie on the floooooooor
Lots of hugs and kisses
One sweet hubby
Blessings all around
And a cocktail at four-thirty

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Photo: nowcom.wordpress.com

Monthly Mommy Mishap Recap

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I started this blog originally as an outlet to share the crazy stuff I find myself doing as I manage being a busy mom. This will be my first recap of my top favorite mishaps that occurred recently. Welcome to the first MONTHLY MOMMY MISHAP RECAP. Welcome to my world.

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GRAND THEFT AUTO
I came out to my car after picking up something at Walgreens and realized I had left it running while I was in there with the kids. I’m so lucky it didn’t get stolen. Especially since it was my husband’s car.

CRASH!
Literally. I crashed my husbands car. Technically it was a tiny fender bender and I only broke a fog lamp but again, it was my husband’s car and a major mishap.

POTTY MOUTH
While bowling with a friend of mine and all 6 of our kids I finally got a spare because I used a 12 lb ball instead of the kids’ 7 lb ball. Forgetting my audience I shouted, “I should’ve known I just needed bigger balls.” I thought it was hilarious until I realized I was surrounded by children. Oops.

DANGER ZONE
My toddler likes to help me cook and sits on the counter while I prepare food. I am a pretty terrible cook so I always am pretty chaotic in the kitchen. I had used a pair of very dull plastic children’s scissors to open a bag because I couldn’t find our regular scissors. As I walked away from the kitchen for a second to tend to the newborn I saw out of the corner of my eye that the toddler was inching dangerously close to the stove and I yelled, “No! don’t touch! It’s hot over there! Just play with your scissors.” Play with scissors? Really? That was my solution to not having to rush to a burn unit?

THAT DOESN’T GO THERE
I’m convinced that baby brain doesn’t go away after the baby comes out. Proof of that is that I constantly find things in places they don’t go and I know I’m to blame. This month my favorites were finding the bag of almonds in the fridge and my favorite black bra in the newborn’s sock drawer.

Did any of you have any Mommy Mishaps recently?

Can you please wash my jump rope?

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Like many of you out there, I do an ungodly amount of laundry. I think it is fair to say I’m doing at least 2 or 3 loads per day, some are planned and some are because something really disgusting happened.

Today I went to do one of the kids’ wash and as usual found a few mystery objects in her hamper. Its as if she didn’t know what do with random stuff so at the time it made the most sense to just throw them in the laundry basket. It made me think about all of the non-clothing items I pull out of the laundry on a daily basis. I can’t imagine if I had washed all of this stuff.

10 year old’s basket treasures

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2-1/2 year old’s basket treasures

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What weird treasures have you found in your family’s laundry baskets lately?